Hi, remember me? Its been a busy,stressful few months to say the least! I usually don't get too personal on my blog, but I figure this is something that could be shared. Maybe someone else is out there who can relate? To begin with, I am recovering from surgery. I had to have a partial hysterectomy in February. The good news is that I will be OK and I am in the process of recovering and getting stronger!
To make a LONG story short-----
I have been struggling the past 4.5 years with low ferritin levels, ovarian cysts, endometriosis, anemia, heart palpitations, nausea, headaches and general fatigue. It has been difficult to exercise and run like I used to. I went from working out 6x a week and running 60-80 miles a week(sometimes 90-100!) to running 3x a week and lifting maybe once a week if I felt good. I feel like a hypocrite for having a fitness blog, when I am so far from feeling like a healthy fitness professional.
I'll go in more detail about all of that in a minute but the recent health issues I've had led to surgery in February.
I had a yearly physical at the end of January which led me straight to an ultra sound, which led to a CT scan, which led to an MRI, and lots and lots of blood work. My symptoms, combined with large masses found in my abdominal cavity and abnormal blood work, led to the removal of my left ovary, fallopian tube and a 3lb,12cm mass. The GREAT news is that the masses were benign and I will make a full recovery!!
The 2 weeks I spent NOT knowing how things were going to go were......eye opening to say the least. The first week, I was able to keep positive and put on a brave face for my family. I didn't want to make a big deal out of anything that wasn't a big deal or come to immediate conclusions of the unknown. My husband and I didn't give details about my surgery to the children other than it would be a surgery to help my stomach feel better. We didn't want to worry them and say anything about the very real possibility I could have cancer. We talked up the fact that Granny (my mother in law) would be staying for a few weeks to help out while I was recovering. We kept day to day routine as usual and We agreed that we would be open and honest with the kids once surgery was over and when we had a detailed plan of action. We wanted them to be fully informed of what would be going on but ONLY IF they needed to--- (its a parents job to worry, not the children's)
The week leading up to surgery was nerve wracking. Blood tests were coming back abnormal, WBC,RBC, hemoglobin, and kidney/liver enzymes were out of whack and my Ca125 levels were 4x above the normal range....I was worried. Add in the fact that everyone in my immediate family has had cancer and ALL of my sisters and grandmothers have had some form of gynecologic cancer- I felt like the odds were against me. My husband and I avoided talking about the hard stuff until we couldn't avoid it any longer. Based on the size of the masses, my symptoms and the fact that most ovarian cancers aren't found in its early stages, I knew I would be facing the biggest battle and fight of my life if the masses were in fact malignant.
Its funny how it takes facing something as drastic as this to see what really matters in life. You quickly realize what is important and what isn't. I found myself worrying less and less about the small things. and just really focusing on what mattered.
3 days before surgery I ran 13 miles with Theresa. The workout itself didn't go as expected. It was supposed to be 3x2 miles at 5k pace with 4 minute recovery in between. I warmed up for 2 miles then did my first set of 2 miles. My mind wasn't focused on running at all. My thoughts were all over the place.I was looking for some sort of sign, wanting some type of answer from somewhere for reassurance.....
At the start of my second set, I remember running past a barren tree at mile 5 and a flock of sparrows flew right above my head. At that moment, I felt a sense of peace, and I knew that regardless of the outcome of surgery, I would be OK. I knew I was going to be OK. (There is a reason the sparrow has significance to me but that is a story for another day)
The rest of my workout wasn't stellar by any means, it actually sucked. But I was perfectly ok with that. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I was very thankful to have gotten the long run in.
After the run,My stress levels dropped, my RHR finally dropped back to normal,and I was ready to get the surgery over with and face the whatever that was waiting on the other side......
The pre surgery meeting with the OBGYN/oncologist went well. We discussed the initial surgery plan and what would happen if plan A wasn't possible. We went over plan B and C and all of the post surgery options/treatments available in the event any cancer was found. I felt empowered with knowledge but still felt on edge because I wouldn't know anything until I woke up from surgery. I knew that if I ended up with a full hysterectomy, then cancer was indeed found. Of course I don't remember the surgery itself or much of the next fews days after. I do remember waking up and looking at the clock,and thinking to myself- Its already after 2:00. The surgery took too long, I bet the cancer spread.... and then when my husband told me the masses were benign , I felt so happy and relieved.
Surgery went well but I had a couple complications post surgery which included Ileus, which is a rare complication from any type of pelvic surgery. Basically my lower bowels became paralyzed and nothing could go in or out. This lead to a full 24 hours of profuse vomiting so I had to be readmitted and stay an extra couple days in the hospital. In addition to that, I had a delayed reaction to either latex, betadine/iodine pre surgical cleaning solution/ and/or the adhesive on surgical wraps. It was a severe topical allergic reaction. The only thing I can relate the rash to is sun poisoning. My skin from the rib cage, all the way down to my upper thighs broke out in itchy raised bumps and then shortly after the skin blistered up like a bad sun burn. The itchy, oozy weepy rash stayed for 6 weeks and is still improving.
3 weeks post surgery. 70% of angry red skin rash had gone away
Recovery from this surgery has been slow going. I just recently started to walk and jog again. I am slowly getting my strength and energy back. On Sunday I was able to get in 5 easy miles so I'm hopeful I will regain my endurance speed and strength back sooner rather than later. BUT in all honestly, I cant complain at all. I know this setback is simply just a minor step back and that I will come back stronger and faster from this. In the grand scheme of things, I've find my self more accepting, less stressed, calmer, more patient and able to simply enjoy things for what they are and to soak in all the little moments. Considering how things could have gone, how different my path could be right now- I am thankful for everything I have.
I'm choosing to roll with what life brings and make the most and best of it. Yes I'm recovering from major surgery, yes it will take time to rebuild, but the beauty of setbacks lies within the ability to rebuild stronger than before and be better because of it.
Now the rest of this post is about the symptoms I had leading up to surgery. If you don't want TMI, then scroll past. I am not offering any medical advice but am sharing my journey in hopes that if someone else is traveling a similar path, they wont feel alone.
My only real advice is to listen to your body and be your own advocate for your health. If a weird embarrassing symptom pops up, dont be afraid to speak up. If things are going on with your body that you know are NOT normal, don't just accept it as being normal, Dont be afraid to get second opinions and above all, don't let your health take a back seat like I did. As a mom, I put everyone and everything before myself. I HATE going to the doctor for anything and avoid it if at all possible. If I can manage it on my own, I will. But to be honest,I've been fighting 4.5 years to figure out what is going on with me,and I am just now scratching the surface and remaining hopeful I am finally on the upswing.
ONE YEAR AGO......
Under normal circumstances, cysts wouldn't be that worrisome. They are something I have dealt with since I was 12 years old and I know that they come and go. I cant pinpoint an exact date that caused a red flag.I had been having on again off again pain in my left side for over a year. My stomach would become bloated and I would swear I looked like I was 5 months pregnant. Sometimes I would even feel a golf ball sized knot, but it would seem as if it would come and go. Last summer I was in so much pain I took a periodic week off of running and basically any unnecessary activity. I scheduled an appointment with my OB in June but the day I was seen, I was pain free so I assumed if I had a cyst, then it had resolved on its own. I was checked at the office but No further tests (such as an ultrasound )were done. A week later,My energy levels were fading rapidly. I would start to feel even more nauseated every time I exercised. My RHR was climbing and in August of 2017 I was approved to start Iron infusions due to my low ferritin levels ( at the end of 2014/early 2015 I found out my ferritin levels were at a 7).
I started Iron infusions in September and it took about 5 weeks to feel a difference. I felt my energy levels return and I started to finally feel good again in regards to my energy. Running was going well and in October, November and December I noticed I was recovering much much quicker from races,long runs and speed workouts.
And then mid way through December, I started to feel my energy levels plummet even more. It took all I had to walk up the stairs in my house. I thought maybe my ferritin levels were crashing, but something felt different. My lower back was hurting, my stomach was still bloated, my appetite was down but I was gaining weight, I was having increased bouts of nausea and GI issues in addition to feeling like I had to pee every 20 minutes or so. I felt a weird pressure in my pelvis and I was just not feeling well in general. My left side was in constant pain, it hurt to run, hurt to sleep and I looked 4-5 months pregnant. When I put my hand across my lower abdomen, I felt a hard mass..but I shrugged all of this off as being a new normal. And I would have continued to just "live with it".........
But thankfully, I had a yearly physical already set up at the end of January. And I knew I had to be open and honest if I expected to start feeling better....
I am happy to report that over the past 2 weeks, I have felt better and am hoping this is a sign of my health returning. I have been more than ready to start being as active as I was 4 years ago.
4.5 YEARS AGO
November, 2013. I remember distinctly the day my health seemed to take a weird turn, the day I no longer felt healthy, the day that would start a chain reaction of seemingly unrelated symptoms.We were traveling from VA to SC to look at houses to buy. The entire family made the trip. I had been feeling overly tired over the past couple months. I thought it was due to stress of school work (i was back in school getting my masters degree)and finishing up the spring/summer season of figure competitions. Also, My father in law had just passed away, my husband was changing jobs, we were going to be moving to a different state, I had 4 small children including a toddler who was testing my limits each and every day. I thought life was just catching up to me.
I felt a slight headache come on during the drive to SC. Only on my left temple though.My stomach felt a little off, I was feeling like my blood sugars were off as well. As the day went on I started to feel worse. The fatigue was crazy. I tried eating small snacks with protein, I tried hydrating, I tried motion sickness pills, I tried ibuprofen but nothing was making me feel better. Maybe I was getting a bug? I started to feel dizzy and lightheaded and nauseated. and my headache became worse. We stopped to eat a late lunch before heading back to VA but I didn't eat with my family-I had to excuse myself from the food joint so I could lay down in the car. I tried really hard to keep a brave face, but I kept getting dizzier, my headache got worse, my heart started to race and palpitate like crazy. I could feel my heartbeat in my ears and could feel all the skipped beats. I felt like I was in a heavy fog and I couldn't keep my head up. and then I started to throw up. every time I puked I felt the world spin and then my heart would skip beats. We still had 7 hours to drive to get back home and that was so not the time to start getting sick. I couldn't seem to get my heart rate and dizziness under control so my husband takes me to the ER to get checked out. the only thing of note was that my blood pressure and RBC was low. all test came back normal including the EKG. they gave me a shot to control the nausea and headache and sent me on my way. Which I was OK with that. we had such a long drive with 4 kids I just wanted to get back home.
The next 2 days I felt like I was hit by a truck. I chalked my sickness off to just having a bug. But over the next few months I would have similar episodes. The episodes seem to always happen after I exercised. anytime I worked out or ran hard I would feel sick. And tired. Very tired. The symptoms also seemed to occur around 3-5 days before my monthly cycle, the week during and/or the week after. Pretty soon I was only feeling "good" for about 5-10 days out of the month. (My cycles would sometimes be every 6 weeks, sometimes every 2 weeks and sometimes every 4 weeks)
Me being me, I still TRIED to continue a workout and running routine as usual. But within the first 8 months of moving to SC I had felt like I had lost so much fitness and gained so much weight, It would take me a year to get back where I used to be. My body could not handle the load it used to and I was cutting back on my exercise to the bare minimum.
I could always hide how bad ive felt from everyone but my husband. He has seen me come home from the gym or a run in much worse shape than when I left. He told me several times that "running is making you sick!" And it would appear so. For the past 4 years, almost Every time I ran (or lifted hard at the gym) I would become ill within 3-24 hours later. It would start with a slight headache, fatigue,then dizziness, then heart palpitations, then extreme nausea and sometimes vomiting. Some days an easy run wouldn't bother me,but the harder workouts (sprints, long runs, tempo runs) would always make me sick. I thought it was hydration and nutrition at first. so I made sure I was properly fueled and hydrated. it didn't help. I was still feeling horrible with any type of activity. my heart palpitations became worse, to the point I went to the ER after a race because of vertigo and my heart was racing so much I could feel my pulse in my ears and knew when I was out of rhythm. I ended up wearing a heart monitor for a solid month which lead to finding no answers. My heart was perfectly healthy. I had blood work done prior but it was just a basic CBC. It showed that I was anemic, so I started taking iron pills.
I switched GPs to the best Dr. Ever. She was the one who discovered my ferritin levels were causing half my symptoms. To get an idea, normal ferritin levels for females are 23-300, with distance runners needing to be around 100. My level was 7. No wonder I could barely walk up the stairs without feeling drained! no wonder my heart was racing and skipping beats! I tried for almost 2 years to bring my ferritin levels up, but they would never get past 19. I had more tests run on me, GI stuff like endoscopy colonoscopy, etc to try and figure out WHY my body wasn't absorbing iron and holding on to ferritin. More tests, no answers. I was a perfectly healthy person except I felt horrible on most days. I was the sickest healthiest person I knew.
In the midst of this, I was dealing with ovarian cysts. I've had these all of my adult life so far and I know what to expect. It was suggested I get a uterine ablation done which would not only help with heavy periods but it may help increase my ferritin levels. So in 2015 I had a uterine ablation.
One of the best decisions I ever made. My ferritin levels weren't going up but I wasn't feeling as bad. I was able to get my basic workouts done, become faster as runner and I was able to find a combination of OTC medicine that managed the worst of my side effects from exercise (nausea, vomiting, headache, dizziness,fatigue, abdominal cramps). By 2016 I was the queen at hiding my sickness. Except when I would have bad episodes that left me in bed with a puke bucket. It didn't happen nearly as often, but I missed more races and more gym time than I wanted to. I was still running only 3-4x per week (20-35 miles) and the weight room was still minimal at 1-2x per week. Anything more than that,just seemed to overwhelm my body and make me feel worse. I had to be ok with the bare minimum.
But I'm not OK with the bare minimum.
SO, WHERE TO GO FROM HERE?
In 2018 have I still been feeling horrible after running? Unfortunately, yes. But not us much (I did run 3 races in January and one race in February of this year so far,so not much running). Up until surgery I have been managing my symptoms. I can say that the heart palpitations have stopped all together. On a really positive note,I was told that the mass that was removed was not only sitting on top of my bladder, it was pressing against my colon and lower intestines. The pressure from the mass more than likely aggravated my lower bowels and caused the nausea after exercise. Since starting the infusions I haven't had a major episode of heart palpitations and my energy levels are SO much higher. And I have been able to recover so much quicker from races and hard workouts. Typically a 5k race would leave me feeling exhausted all weekend. and a half marathon would take weeks to recover from. But since October, I have been able to function as a normal person after a race or a long run. My headaches are at a minimal as well.
Hopefully when I return full force to running and lifting, I wont have any of the usual side effects! I will continue to be monitored every 6 months by my OBGYN. There is still a cyst near my right ovary that needs to be kept a close watch on.I will continue iron infusions, I will continue getting yearly checkups and hopefully the worst of my symptoms are behind me now and I can finally start feeling healthy again.
I am looking forward to starting the journey to my epic comeback. and I just know my strongest and fastest days are still ahead of me. I WILL reclaim my fitness....and I will comeback, better and wiser in the process.
Anyways, if you are still reading, bless your heart! On one hand it has been scary sharing all of this personal information online. On the other hand its been cathartic. I typically don't share things like this. I feel like I am making myself vulnerable and really hope others will think to choose to be kind. Any one out there able to relate to any of my word vomit?
Please share!
